"how can i forget her"
i am filling with anger and sadness
i am mad at myself for allowing things to make it this far
i would like to chalk it up to experience, but i can't forget her
she's in the other room right now, sleeping with a roommate
it's really messed up, how can she do such, partly reasoning for my anger
she claims to love a guy other than me, someone in a whole different place
what is she doing to this roommmate of mine, i hope he's as emotionless as
her
it's like she lives off sex, i wasn't quick enough to do it with her luckily
hopefully the only regret i will have from this is ever acting on my feelings
for her
all i wanted was to make her happy, so that i could be happy
i cared for her so much, i felt what she felt
she's so messed up, why didn't it work out
i helped make it possible for her to get away from problems at home
now problems concurrently exist within me, i am so hurt, it won't go away
i taste her in my mouth, i am disgusted with myself right now
how could i have been so foolish, what did i do to deserve this
she told me she didn't care about me, it's so hard for me to believe that
i ponder what she does care about, will she ever be happy
this battle is a losing one, blood is shed within, my heart torn to pieces
if it weren't for my meditated thoughts, i would say rest in peace to myself
i thought she was the one for me, i have never cared about anyone else like
i do her
it's hard for me to know how i feel about her now, she's still in there with
one of my roommates
i question what she will do to the guy that's level above me, i hope wisdom
finds him
i'm listening for music for understanding, but nothing is coming to me
there has to be logic to this, i don't think so, zen
by matthew kooshad
© copyright 2004
more of Matt's work
graphic by Annes Graphics